Blog | Personal Effectiveness

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For Employees

Person writing at their desk with lots of crumbled paper

Is Productivity Really So Important?

Well, there goes summer. Was your summer less a sipping-mocktails-from-a-floaty-in-the-lake kind of summer and more a, at least I can see a lake while I’m on this Zoom call kind...
Read More
Man struggling with energy management in a meeting

The Other Side of Energy Management: Stop the Drains

You’ve probably had days where you start off feeling fully charged, only to find yourself on low power by mid-afternoon. Sometimes, it’s hard to explain why. You got a good...
Read More
Young man has come in and flopped on the couch, exhausted.

Energy Management: Rituals, Routines, and Refills That Work

Does your energy run out long before your to-do list? Are you exhausted and uninspired by 3 p.m.? Does your family get the spent, hollow version of you every evening...

Read More
Business woman looking at herself in the mirror with a serious expression

9 Signs You Might Be Creating Drama on Your Team

When I first began this series on drama in the workplace, I invoked Cy Wakeman’s definition of “arguing with reality.”  We talked about all the ways your hapless colleagues might...
Read More
Two colleagues whispering to each other.

Why Your Team Loves Drama

Does your team love a little drama? Do you? Whether you do or you don’t, it’s worth understanding why we’re seeing so much petty, personal, and pernicious behavior lately. Workplace...
Read More
Business man at desk looking at two different pieces of paper with dozens of sticky notes on the window behind him.

What to Do When Everything is Urgent

I once worked with a woman who quit because our boss kept putting stacks of tasks on her desk, all marked urgent. Each time she tried to clarify what she...
Read More
Leader giving a presentation to a large group of people

Leaders Do Not Understand Prioritization

If you want to see me turn red and blow steam out my ears like a 1970s cartoon character, just sit me in an audience with a group of leaders...
Read More
Man looking at watch and rushing up the stairs (background is blurred)

Use Stress to Your Advantage

So far, in this month-long series on stress, we’ve been talking mainly about the negative effects of stress: diluted attention, increased emotionality, and physical and mental health issues associated with...
Read More
Woman wearing headphones and meditating in a plant-filled room to alleviate stress spillover

Reducing the Spillover Between Home and Work Stress

Facing significant stress at home or work is problem enough, but when stress crosses from one part of your life to another, it can create a vicious cycle. What can...
Read More
Man leaning his head against a white office wall dealing with too much work stress.

Addressing the Root Causes of Work Stress

In my previous post , I shared four examples of how your stress might manifest and provided techniques for reducing the impact of a perceived threat. In this post, we’ll...
Read More
Man peaking out through his fingers

How Emotional Blind Spots are a Silent Career Killer

Can we start by stipulating that you have blind spots in your self-awareness and risks you can’t see from your vantage point? Or do I need to invoke the name...
Read More
Steering wheel covered in post it notes with tasks

A Better Alternative to a To-Do List

Is your to-do list getting you down? Do you start lists only to lose them in the shuffle? Does transferring incomplete tasks from one list to another make you feel...

Read More
Woman talking on the phone while trying to carry a bunch of files because she's multitasking

What You Can (and Can’t) Multitask

In my previous post , I came to terms with the fact that 95% of us can’t multitask (hard blow). Instead, what we call multitasking is just rapidly toggling between...
Read More
Woman getting stressed from multitasking

Enough with Multitasking

Are you making a New Year’s resolution? I’m not usually into resolutions, but I have had some success with creating a theme for the year. One year, I made a...

Read More
Woman working remotely and saying

Why You Can’t Say No at Work

Does it feel like you can’t ever say “no” to new assignments, additional tasks, or doing just “one small favor” for a colleague? Are you the yes person that your...
Read More
Man sitting at a computer with his glasses pressed up rubbing his nose because he's overwhelmed and stressed

10 Helpful Things To Do When You’re Overwhelmed

In this series, I’ve been sharing strategies to manage your heavy workload so that you can work efficiently and effectively and manage your stress levels without getting completely overwhelmed.

In...

Read More
Man at desk pointing to himself as if to say

How to Deal with Someone Who is Not Self-aware

I’ve been delivering a shiny new speech about giving feedback . It’s full of unconventional ideas and new ways of thinking about how to use feedback more effectively. The best...

Read More
Woman at desk giving enthusiastic two thumbs up

Are You Saying Yes Too Often?

It's NOvember, the month where I provide 30 days of things to say NO to if you want to be happier, healthier, and more productive. Join the NOvember crusade on...

Read More
Person working at computer looking off into the distance

To Multitask or Not to Multitask?

The 3COze High-Performance Teams process helps colleagues understand one another’s styles and needs and how the differences between teammates can affect team dynamics. This article is the ninth in a...

Read More
Women taking off her glasses and rubbing her face

Are You Taking Steps to Prevent Burnout?

A humpback whale spends the summer feeding--ingesting two tons of krill daily. Two Tons. That’s more than 6,300 Big Macs.

Some might have thought I was imitating the mighty humpback...

Read More
Young professional typing and smoking a pipe

Stop Trying to Sound Strategic!

I know, I know, you’ve been told that you aren’t strategic enough, so now you’re trying to reach a self-imposed quota for using big words and making references to The...

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Woman standing and addressing a team in a meeting

How Can I Be More Strategic?

Looking for a promotion? Want to be paid more? Tired of hearing that you’re “not leadership material?” One of the things you might need to work on is becoming more...
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Person at a desk with head in hands

A Different Take on Psychological Safety

Do you feel safe speaking up in your team? Can you voice an unpopular opinion without fear of your colleague’s rebuttal? Will you disagree with your boss knowing that they...
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Woman sitting on desk alone while teammate talk without her

To Foster Trust, Ask for Help

Do you find yourself working on a team where you just don’t fit in? Or do you like your colleagues well enough but still not trust them for anything more...
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Woman lying face down on couch looking at her computer

How to get things done when you aren’t motivated

What do you do when you have work to do, but no mojo, motivation, or momentum to get started? Seriously, I’d love to know because I am not “feelin’ it”...
Read More
Extremely messy desk

Why You’re So Busy and How to Ruthlessly Prioritize

Do you believe in the adage, “less is more?” Would you love to have fewer priorities, a shorter to-do list, and more time to focus on the few activities that...
Read More
Annoying man meeting with two colleagues

What if you’re the jerk?

So far this month, I’ve talked about flip-flopping bosses , toxic bullies , and overly sensitive colleagues . Those are just a few of the many difficult people you might...
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How to Deal with a Workplace Bully

The term “bullying” gets bandied about liberally in conversations about team dysfunction. For what it’s worth, I believe too liberally. How often do you hear someone claiming to be bullied?...
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Person pitching an idea in a meeting

How to Sell Your Strategic Idea

This post is a part of Strategy Month—my 30-day LinkedIn series aimed at bringing strategy down from its lofty perch and providing the ideas, techniques, and tools to democratize strategy...
Read More
Person raising her hand in a presentation

Is Interrupting Rude?

View the video transcript of this post here “Don’t interrupt.” It’s right up there with “don’t talk with your mouth open,” “don’t talk about sex, politics, or religion,” and “don’t...
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Couple walking outside, not talking to each other

Pay Off One Conflict Debt in Your Life

We’re halfway through February and I suppose that most of the New Year’s resolutions have worn off by now (although I’m still on my 45-day streak of getting my Inbox...
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Blank Notebook open on a desk

Do You Have a Theme for the Year?

A few years ago, I made my choice in the raging debate about whether it is best to start a new year with resolutions, intentions, or themes. I chose themes....
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2020 Wrap Up

(This photo is by the phenomenal Becky Wright. Becky, who pivoted her photography business during Covid to doing remote photoshoots from her home in the UK. This was an early...
Read More
Person holding up hands to say

What Could You Say No To?

We survived another November. And not just any November. For many of us, it was a locked-down, Covid-19 November, which made the normal challenges of November in the Northern hemisphere...
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Male and female employees sitting across a desk from one another. Woman is looking apologetic

When Not to Apologize

Last week I wrote about good and bad apologies , which got me thinking about what behavior necessitates an apology and what doesn’t. Apologizing (when done well) sends a very...
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How to Make Yourself Feel Better

How goes the roller coaster? This is week four of isolation at our house and I’m becoming more and more interested in emotional regulation (not a coincidence). So many of...
Read More
Person talking to colleague over video call

How to Have an Uncomfortable Conversation Remotely

Do you have virtual teammates? Well, not virtual humans (at least not yet), but real people who work with you in a virtual office rather than a physical one? Working...
Read More
What happens when someone comes to you to complain about one of your team members? Should you pass on feedback or ask the person to give the message directly?

Passing on Feedback for Someone Else

One of the most precarious situations you can get in as a manager is when someone comes to you with feedback about one of your team members and asks you...
Read More
One of the main reasons we don't give constructive feedback is because we fear an ugly reaction. Don't fear it, expect it!

How to Cope with Backlash to Your Feedback

I facilitated a workshop this week that has given me lots of juicy fodder for discussion here with you. The session focused on uncomfortable discussions, including considerable time on how...
Read More
There are many good reasons to attend meetings, but unfortunately, there are just as many bad ones. Stop going to meetings for the wrong reasons

Why you shouldn’t go to that meeting

In my previous post , I reacted to an editorial in the Guardian by Simon Jenkins, who came to the conclusion that meetings are killing people and destroying organizations. His...
Read More
There are tips you can use to make sure you receive feedback in a way that helps you succeed and strengthens your relationships

How to Receive Feedback

I gave a speech last week on the importance of feedback to a high performance organization. It was clear that many of the audience members were uncomfortable with the thought...
Read More
Person standing out from a team

Focus Your Time on Your Real Value

We’re helping a group of senior leaders prepare to cascade their corporate business strategy down into their departments. I’m putting the materials together and thought I would take a moment...
Read More
the word 'kudos'

How to Accept Positive Feedback

Positive feedback is rare and precious and you need to make sure you treat it as such. It’s rare because we tend to take good behavior for granted. There are...
Read More
post-it note drawing of a person with a target

How to Take Constructive Feedback

“ Feedback is a gift .” How many times have you heard that little gem?  I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed that not many people ask for feedback...
Read More
Group of teammates smiling

The ‘You’ in Team

Do you point to all the things your teammates or team leader are doing that are rendering your team ineffective? In my role as a team coach, I hear these...
Read More
Two colleagues talking

Are You a Good Listener?

How to Listen at Multiple Levels

A good listener can demonstrate that they've logged the facts, understood the emotions, and uncovered the associated values and beliefs. This kind of listening...
Read More
Person holding up hand with sign on it saying 'no'

Know When and How to Say ‘No’

We have got to get over our view that good team players always say yes.
From our earliest days at work, we are sent the strong message that good team...
Read More

For Managers

Person writing at their desk with lots of crumbled paper

Is Productivity Really So Important?

Well, there goes summer. Was your summer less a sipping-mocktails-from-a-floaty-in-the-lake kind of summer and more a, at least I can see a lake while I’m on this Zoom call kind...
Read More
Man holding a laptop and a cup of coffee and looking enthusiastic

Wells and Waterfalls: Sources of Energy to Power Your Work Day

In this final post in my series on managing your energy at work, I want to distinguish between two different kinds of motivation: the kind that comes from opening yourself...
Read More
Young man has come in and flopped on the couch, exhausted.

Energy Management: Rituals, Routines, and Refills That Work

Does your energy run out long before your to-do list? Are you exhausted and uninspired by 3 p.m.? Does your family get the spent, hollow version of you every evening...

Read More
Two women having a conversation at a desk. One is talking and animiating with her hands.

How to Coach for Better Prioritization

This month, we’ve been discussing better prioritization. We started by debunking the myth that you can have multiple priorities and established a process for getting to one . Next, we...
Read More
Business man at desk looking at two different pieces of paper with dozens of sticky notes on the window behind him.

What to Do When Everything is Urgent

I once worked with a woman who quit because our boss kept putting stacks of tasks on her desk, all marked urgent. Each time she tried to clarify what she...
Read More
Leader giving a presentation to a large group of people

Leaders Do Not Understand Prioritization

If you want to see me turn red and blow steam out my ears like a 1970s cartoon character, just sit me in an audience with a group of leaders...
Read More
Man looking at watch and rushing up the stairs (background is blurred)

Use Stress to Your Advantage

So far, in this month-long series on stress, we’ve been talking mainly about the negative effects of stress: diluted attention, increased emotionality, and physical and mental health issues associated with...
Read More
Person shaking hands with the boss with their fingers crossed behind their back

Your Team is Lying to You, and It’s Your Fault

How aware are you of the dynamics at play in your team? Maybe you’re clued in on what’s wrong with everyone else, but what about their perceptions of you? Odds...
Read More
Team meeting where people are multitasking on their phones

8 Things to Do to Prevent Multitasking in Meetings

Multitasking is making us less efficient, reducing the quality and creativity of our work, and stressing us out. And yet, it’s the norm rather than the exception, particularly in meetings....
Read More
Woman getting stressed from multitasking

Enough with Multitasking

Are you making a New Year’s resolution? I’m not usually into resolutions, but I have had some success with creating a theme for the year. One year, I made a...

Read More
Man sitting at a computer with his glasses pressed up rubbing his nose because he's overwhelmed and stressed

10 Helpful Things To Do When You’re Overwhelmed

In this series, I’ve been sharing strategies to manage your heavy workload so that you can work efficiently and effectively and manage your stress levels without getting completely overwhelmed.

In...

Read More
Man at desk pointing to himself as if to say

How to Deal with Someone Who is Not Self-aware

I’ve been delivering a shiny new speech about giving feedback . It’s full of unconventional ideas and new ways of thinking about how to use feedback more effectively. The best...

Read More
Start up team all working in a small shared space

How to Get Leaders Focused on Growth

I spoke with a successful entrepreneur last week. Her start-up has grown rapidly, and she’s feeling the pressure that success puts on her and her young team. Although each new...

Read More
Team standing around a table full of reports

Using Personality Assessments with Your Team

So, your team has just done the DiSC, Hogan, the MBTI, or the Birkman.

You feel seen.

Finally, everyone can appreciate the multitudes you contain. Things will be better now....

Read More
Person working at computer looking off into the distance

To Multitask or Not to Multitask?

The 3COze High-Performance Teams process helps colleagues understand one another’s styles and needs and how the differences between teammates can affect team dynamics. This article is the ninth in a...

Read More
Women taking off her glasses and rubbing her face

Are You Taking Steps to Prevent Burnout?

A humpback whale spends the summer feeding--ingesting two tons of krill daily. Two Tons. That’s more than 6,300 Big Macs.

Some might have thought I was imitating the mighty humpback...

Read More
Extremely messy desk

Why You’re So Busy and How to Ruthlessly Prioritize

Do you believe in the adage, “less is more?” Would you love to have fewer priorities, a shorter to-do list, and more time to focus on the few activities that...
Read More
Person pitching an idea in a meeting

How to Sell Your Strategic Idea

This post is a part of Strategy Month—my 30-day LinkedIn series aimed at bringing strategy down from its lofty perch and providing the ideas, techniques, and tools to democratize strategy...
Read More

2020 Wrap Up

(This photo is by the phenomenal Becky Wright. Becky, who pivoted her photography business during Covid to doing remote photoshoots from her home in the UK. This was an early...
Read More
What happens when someone comes to you to complain about one of your team members? Should you pass on feedback or ask the person to give the message directly?

Passing on Feedback for Someone Else

One of the most precarious situations you can get in as a manager is when someone comes to you with feedback about one of your team members and asks you...
Read More
One of the main reasons we don't give constructive feedback is because we fear an ugly reaction. Don't fear it, expect it!

How to Cope with Backlash to Your Feedback

I facilitated a workshop this week that has given me lots of juicy fodder for discussion here with you. The session focused on uncomfortable discussions, including considerable time on how...
Read More
Feedback can cause unpleasant reactions - here's how to handle them

When Feedback Causes Backlash

I love the questions I get at the end of a keynote. This week I got a couple of really good ones. The first was, “How do I handle it...
Read More
Person having difficult conversation that other person doesn't want to hear

Maybe You Shouldn’t Give Feedback

I have a new speech that I’m working on called “The New Nice.” It’s the culmination of all my work on increasing productive conflict and getting comfortable being uncomfortable. One...
Read More
Person standing out from a team

Focus Your Time on Your Real Value

We’re helping a group of senior leaders prepare to cascade their corporate business strategy down into their departments. I’m putting the materials together and thought I would take a moment...
Read More
Person holding up hand with sign on it saying 'no'

Know When and How to Say ‘No’

We have got to get over our view that good team players always say yes.
From our earliest days at work, we are sent the strong message that good team...
Read More

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Illustration of a person looking happy with two thumbs up

For Coaches

Person writing at their desk with lots of crumbled paper

Is Productivity Really So Important?

Well, there goes summer. Was your summer less a sipping-mocktails-from-a-floaty-in-the-lake kind of summer and more a, at least I can see a lake while I’m on this Zoom call kind...
Read More
Man holding a laptop and a cup of coffee and looking enthusiastic

Wells and Waterfalls: Sources of Energy to Power Your Work Day

In this final post in my series on managing your energy at work, I want to distinguish between two different kinds of motivation: the kind that comes from opening yourself...
Read More
Man struggling with energy management in a meeting

The Other Side of Energy Management: Stop the Drains

You’ve probably had days where you start off feeling fully charged, only to find yourself on low power by mid-afternoon. Sometimes, it’s hard to explain why. You got a good...
Read More
Young man has come in and flopped on the couch, exhausted.

Energy Management: Rituals, Routines, and Refills That Work

Does your energy run out long before your to-do list? Are you exhausted and uninspired by 3 p.m.? Does your family get the spent, hollow version of you every evening...

Read More
Business woman looking at herself in the mirror with a serious expression

9 Signs You Might Be Creating Drama on Your Team

When I first began this series on drama in the workplace, I invoked Cy Wakeman’s definition of “arguing with reality.”  We talked about all the ways your hapless colleagues might...
Read More
Two women having a conversation at a desk. One is talking and animiating with her hands.

How to Coach for Better Prioritization

This month, we’ve been discussing better prioritization. We started by debunking the myth that you can have multiple priorities and established a process for getting to one . Next, we...
Read More
Business man at desk looking at two different pieces of paper with dozens of sticky notes on the window behind him.

What to Do When Everything is Urgent

I once worked with a woman who quit because our boss kept putting stacks of tasks on her desk, all marked urgent. Each time she tried to clarify what she...
Read More
Leader giving a presentation to a large group of people

Leaders Do Not Understand Prioritization

If you want to see me turn red and blow steam out my ears like a 1970s cartoon character, just sit me in an audience with a group of leaders...
Read More
Man looking at watch and rushing up the stairs (background is blurred)

Use Stress to Your Advantage

So far, in this month-long series on stress, we’ve been talking mainly about the negative effects of stress: diluted attention, increased emotionality, and physical and mental health issues associated with...
Read More
Woman wearing headphones and meditating in a plant-filled room to alleviate stress spillover

Reducing the Spillover Between Home and Work Stress

Facing significant stress at home or work is problem enough, but when stress crosses from one part of your life to another, it can create a vicious cycle. What can...
Read More
Man leaning his head against a white office wall dealing with too much work stress.

Addressing the Root Causes of Work Stress

In my previous post , I shared four examples of how your stress might manifest and provided techniques for reducing the impact of a perceived threat. In this post, we’ll...
Read More
Man peaking out through his fingers

How Emotional Blind Spots are a Silent Career Killer

Can we start by stipulating that you have blind spots in your self-awareness and risks you can’t see from your vantage point? Or do I need to invoke the name...
Read More
Woman working remotely and saying

Why You Can’t Say No at Work

Does it feel like you can’t ever say “no” to new assignments, additional tasks, or doing just “one small favor” for a colleague? Are you the yes person that your...
Read More
Man sitting at a computer with his glasses pressed up rubbing his nose because he's overwhelmed and stressed

10 Helpful Things To Do When You’re Overwhelmed

In this series, I’ve been sharing strategies to manage your heavy workload so that you can work efficiently and effectively and manage your stress levels without getting completely overwhelmed.

In...

Read More
Man at desk pointing to himself as if to say

How to Deal with Someone Who is Not Self-aware

I’ve been delivering a shiny new speech about giving feedback . It’s full of unconventional ideas and new ways of thinking about how to use feedback more effectively. The best...

Read More
Team standing around a table full of reports

Using Personality Assessments with Your Team

So, your team has just done the DiSC, Hogan, the MBTI, or the Birkman.

You feel seen.

Finally, everyone can appreciate the multitudes you contain. Things will be better now....

Read More
Person working at computer looking off into the distance

To Multitask or Not to Multitask?

The 3COze High-Performance Teams process helps colleagues understand one another’s styles and needs and how the differences between teammates can affect team dynamics. This article is the ninth in a...

Read More

2020 Wrap Up

(This photo is by the phenomenal Becky Wright. Becky, who pivoted her photography business during Covid to doing remote photoshoots from her home in the UK. This was an early...
Read More
There are tips you can use to make sure you receive feedback in a way that helps you succeed and strengthens your relationships

How to Receive Feedback

I gave a speech last week on the importance of feedback to a high performance organization. It was clear that many of the audience members were uncomfortable with the thought...
Read More
Feedback can cause unpleasant reactions - here's how to handle them

When Feedback Causes Backlash

I love the questions I get at the end of a keynote. This week I got a couple of really good ones. The first was, “How do I handle it...
Read More
Two colleagues talking

Are You a Good Listener?

How to Listen at Multiple Levels

A good listener can demonstrate that they've logged the facts, understood the emotions, and uncovered the associated values and beliefs. This kind of listening...
Read More