I wanted to be the first to tell you that I am quitting my job in team effectiveness. I’m going back to keynote speaking, strategy facilitation, leadership development…I’m not sure yet, but anything other than working with teams. Here’s why.
- I can’t possibly listen to another person end a really productive day with “I hope we apply what we learned through this process.” Really, I can’t take it. You HOPE!?! So many people waiting for everyone else to change and not being willing to change themselves.
- I can’t face another team leader who thinks they’re the universe’s gift to the team: the ones who speak in between each person and always want the last word on every point. How about you just disband the team and just tell everyone what to do. You won’t need me anymore and you’ll stop wasting everyone’s time in meetings.
- HR people who think team effectiveness means everyone needs to get along and talk politely to one another. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! NO! Happy, smiley teams are probably crappy teams. (Wo)man up people…a little conflict is good for us all. It might even make the scores on your beloved employee engagement survey go UP because people get to make a meaningful contribution!
- Leaderless teams. My life is too short to work with leaderless teams where no one steps up and everyone just floats along because nothing is uncomfortable enough to actually make an effort. If YOU don’t care about your future, why should I?
- When I start a session with “so what did you take away from last time” and get blank stares in return. Were you with me at the last session…remember, the cramped hotel room with no windows where we spent 8 hours eating stale pastries and talking about what you were going to do differently to make your team better…hello…earth to team members?
- Now that I think about it, I can’t spend another day in a cramped hotel room with no windows eating stale pastries.
- Having to explain to another team that tension is not something bad we’re trying to get rid of, it’s something constructive that we’re trying to use to optimize the whole. Frankly, if I have to say “tension” or “optimize” one more time, I’m going to upchuck.
- The person who chimes in with the old chestnut “we’ll just have to wait and see,” or “only time will tell.” Let me tell you right now what you’re going to see if you just sit and wait. NOTHING! You’re going to see the same sorry lot that you’re lookin’ at now getting the same mediocre results.
- “They have no f*!@ing clue.” I can’t face another team in a matrix organization telling me how it’s the other guys who have no clue. Guess what, they’re in a cramped hotel room down the road telling their poor facilitator that YOU have no f*!@ing clue. Is it not obvious that if they don’t have a clue about your stuff that it’s YOUR job to give them one.
- I can’t handle that moment at 9:27 when six of the people who agreed at 8:42 that they wouldn’t use their devices are all typing away on their devices. I can’t be polite about that anymore. I CAN’T!!! People, you’re NOT that important. The world will keep turning while you go two hours without looking at your phone!!!
- People who are so wrapped up in their own objectives, evaluations, and bonuses that they are guided only by what’s good for themselves. Why even bother with the façade of the team, why not just admit that we’re in the Hunger Games and it’s fine to play nice until resources get scarce and then it’s kill or be killed.
- On that note, I don’t want to spend another minute trying to improve team effectiveness for an organization that has objectives, evaluations, and bonuses that set things up to be like the Hunger Games. You’re getting what you deserve.
- Having indelible marker all over my fingers, getting sticky tack stuck to the bottom of my shoe, lugging 10 pound rolls of flipchart notes, enduring paper cuts from folding tent cards. I just can’t take it anymore!!!! I QUIT!
Nah, I’m only kidding. Happy April Fool’s Day everyone. I’m not giving up my job. I love helping teams become more effective. And while each and every one of those annoyances has happened in the last month (including one near career-ending paper cut), not even all of them together are enough to dampen the amazing feeling when one person says “I never thought of it that way.” Or when two people who have been fighting finally see that they have both been hurting. Or when a team turns around a struggling business by finding new and better ways to work together. Helping teams of people get better aligned and create a productive and healthy team dynamic is the best job in the world.
So you’re stuck with me. But if you don’t mind, it would be great if you could curtail a few of those bad habits I listed above.
What tempts you to pack it in on teamwork? Share your annoyances in the comments.
Got me! I was reading with empathy for you and true dread that you were departing this vital space. Good one – you really had me going! The world of work needs you to keep the crusade.
Hi Ren, sorry for being such a meanie. The only thing I’m quitting is the stale carbs!
Thank you Ms. Davey for this article on April Fools’ Day! I received a big chuckle because of the surprise factor (that you were just kidding!) at the end of the article. This article should be on everyone’s reading list for their “chuckle of the day!”
Hi Jamie, I’m so glad it gave you a laugh. I had fun writing it…it was a bit cathartic!
Spilt my coffee with the headline, shocked a team effectiveness superstar would consider leaving the space. Snorted my coffee with the conclusion hooting at the clever way you managed to both prank and address habits that can really sabotage team success and performance. Clever monkey!!!
Rosie, send me the dry cleaning bill! Glad you had some fun with me on April Fool’s. And, yes, wouldn’t we all love if these issues weren’t real. Hope you’re well!
Ha! Good one, you definitely had me fooled! Although many points were a little too uncomfortably true to be considered just a prank 😉 I loved the Hunger Games reference, one good analogy is worth a thousand words. Well done!
Hi Val, it’s true…uncomfortably true! My husband told me not to show it to my therapist. Made me realize I might actually need a therapist!
And yet haven’t we all felt EXACTLY the same way having faced at least one of these situations? I know I have!
Yes Christine, I’m confident that anyone who’s spent time working in the team effectiveness space has experienced many of the same things. And our despair is only exacerbated by the lack of vitamin D from spending the majority of our lives in artificial light.
Good one Liane! Before I got to the last paragraph, it was deja vu for me, I have experienced this situations many times as well. And in the back of my mind, I’m thinking, oh no, if Liane is giving up, an expert and author in team effectiveness, how can I remain encouraged by what’s possible in teams. Then I read your last paragraph and thought, thank goodness! Nicely played. We need you to keep up the crusade to keep us inspired.
Don’t worry Shelly, I’m WAY too stubborn to give up. Hopefully I can share some tips and tools on changeyourteam.com to give you some ideas about how to help people stuck in a dysfunctional team rut to see things differently and change themselves to change their teams.
Too true. Thanks for laugh.
Fantastic piece Liane You always have the best stories that everyone can relate to and I have felt everyone of your 13.. Sad but true are the realities of each of your comments. Keep up the great work!
Awesome post Liane. I think you just demonstrated another important principle of effective teams – that sometimes we need to openly declare what is our truth and to call “it” what it really is. We can dance around nice words forever and just like avoiding tension, avoiding the use of blunt language (in moderation and with purpose) can be destructive. Your post demonstrates that brilliantly!
Liane,
Let me validate your transmission, great message, lots to think about and more importantly act on!
Good one Liane. I could relate to all those points and have sat on those teams. Painful! I run a non-profit, volunteer team as part of my community giveback (www.theleadershipforum.ca) – outside of my work in employee engagement, leadership training and team facilitation (www.tammyelliott.ca). We have an amazing team. I’m grateful for the experiences you mention in your blog because it showed me how not to run my team. Happy April Fools Day.
Tammy
Phew…You had us all worried. And thanks for the laugh! I think we have all experienced many of the 13 either as leaders, team members or facilitators.
This is my favourite post so far! Thanks for the laugh and for being so frank and honest 🙂
Fabulous! this just made me want to be on a team who needs an intervention with you Liane! Crazy, I know! Heard you speak at an ICF conference so I do know YOU Kick-A$$–glad you’ll continue to fight the good fight!.Teams are lucky to have you in their corner.
You are most definitely my hero, Liane! Thanks for the belly laugh!
The best one yet, Liane! Made my whole morning.
Hmmm. Ending your April Fools Day Blog with 13 points. Makes me wonder.
Thank you, Liane. That was delightful, a genuine catharsis. I think I’ll save it for the next time I want to tell all of “them” off. Laughter is good. Cheers.
i’m with you
Unfortunately, there are still too many that do all that stuff and think it is helpful. Sheesh
Thanks for the note in this fun way