There’s something we all do at work that we almost never talk about, and research is starting to show just how quietly expensive it is.
Fake It Till You Break It
Ever feel the need to plaster on a grin in response to a request that feels inappropriate, unmanageable, or particularly ill-timed? Or to feign enthusiasm for a colleague’s idea that seems preposterous? Or to pretend you’re excited about a delicious new burger when you barely want to let it touch your lips?
These are examples of “surface acting”—putting on the emotional show you think your audience is expecting. It’s surface acting because what you’re projecting is different from what you’re actually feeling underneath.
What was the most recent Oscar-worthy performance you gave?
I get it. Surface acting seems like a low-cost way to get through the moment with your relationships (and your job) intact.
But recent research suggests it’s more costly than we think.
Surface acting has a negative effect on all three components of your thoughtload.
First, it increases the cognitive demands because your brain has to manage the dissonance between what’s actually going on and what you’re trying to project.
Second, it increases the emotional burden because it triggers a neurochemical stress response.
Finally, surface acting not only depletes your energy in the short term but also has prolonged impacts that last into the following day.
Get Deep
The alternative to surface acting is deep acting. And this isn’t “acting” as in pretending—it’s acting as in taking action. When you take deep action, you interrogate your emotions, reflect on their source, find constructive ways to frame your feelings, and act to make things better or inoculate yourself against similar emotional responses in the future.
Processing your emotions is a more effective way to learn from them and then move on.
Ask Yourself
- When and where are you surface acting, and what is it costing you?
- What could you do to address the underlying issue or reframe how you’re thinking about it?
- How might your choices make others feel like they have to act a certain way around you? Who’s surface acting for your benefit?
- What could you do to make it more comfortable for others to process their emotions rather than suppressing them?