Are you stuck working for a boss who turns out to be toxically positive? I know the words toxic and positive don’t usually go together, but this is the kind of boss for whom the only news is good news, and the only acceptable way to feel is enthusiastic and optimistic. That’s just as much of a problem as the boss who’s always down in the dumps. So what can you do?
Anticipate the Challenges Your Boss Wants to Ignore
First of all, it’s really important that you stand on guard. It’s important that you keep anticipating what might actually be coming at your team, that you stay connected to people outside of that weird bubble of happiness and positivity that your boss lives in. Keep looking for ways to mitigate risks, even from other people who are engaged. Pretending things are going well doesn’t usually work in the long run—and when things do go south, it can be a huge problem not just for Mr. Positive, but for your own reputation too.
Start with the Positive
The second thing you want to do is make sure you can engage your boss by leading with something positive. I know it feels crappy to have to manipulate how you engage with your boss—and it’s certainly not ideal—but if you’re stuck in that situation, it’s a good strategy to consider.
If someone comes up with a plan that’s full of holes or just isn’t going to work, you’d think that sharing your concerns would be realistic and the right thing to do. Unfortunately, your boss probably doesn’t see it that way. The key is to learn to approach it with a positive framing.
For example, if someone says, “I think we need to expand into the western region,” you might respond, “Ah, the western region is a really big opportunity, it’s a huge market.” Just be positive! Then you might add, “I’m interested in seeing whether our product mix is a good fit for the western region,” or “What would it take for us to take advantage of that big market?” You don’t go so far as to say, “That’s impossible, it would cost us a fortune!” or “That doesn’t suit us at all, what are we thinking!?” You don’t go there, because your boss would shut down. But at least you acknowledge that there’s a risk, that there’s a problem, and your positive framing and your use of questions will make it much more likely that your toxically positive boss will at least engage—and that your colleagues will help you, too.
Learn to Circumvent the Positivity Shield
The third thing is that with a toxically positive boss, it’s as if the negativity bias in their brain is always working overtime. They see everything in the world as a threat and they try to create these shields to protect themselves from that risk. They try to use optimism and delusion as a shield. If you want to break through that shield, you need to have methods and ways of saying things that are not perceived as risks or threats. That way, you can sort of get around the shield.
And again, I wish I didn’t have to suggest this. I wish this weren’t something you had to consider. It’s certainly not how it should be. But coming up with a new language and new ways of talking about things that can go around that shield undetected is probably a useful strategy.
For example, instead of bringing up your risk mitigation plan—because even the word “risk” can make your toxically positive boss bristle—call it your success formula. Say things like, “What do we think are the key components of the success formula here? What do we need to do to make this work?” Instead of looking at a graph and saying, “Well, this isn’t picking up like we expected,” try a more positive framing: “What are the changes that we’re going to have to make to get on a winning trajectory?” There’s still truth in there. It’s just getting around the shields by framing it in a way that your toxically positive boss will hopefully let through.
Why Working with a Toxically Positive Boss Sucks
It sucks to work with a toxically positive boss. It sucks because there’s a lot of risk for your business. You’re probably not paying attention to issues that really deserve a lot of energy and at least a Plan B. There aren’t a lot of Plan Bs for toxically positive bosses, because what could go wrong?
It’s also a really difficult place to be because you can’t even express your concerns or be anything other than positive all the time. It isn’t a situation where I would encourage you to stay for very long or if you don’t have to, but sometimes we have to deal with bosses who, for various reasons, are not what we would like them to be. And in those cases, we have to use these strategies.
Give them a try. Make sure you’re on guard and anticipating and building bridges with other people so that your company is less at risk. Make sure you’re framing things positively and finding a new language that allows you to get around those shields they put up.
Toxically positive bosses totally suck, but you know what? There are other bosses that suck just as much.
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