Are you stuck in a horrible situation where you have to influence someone with whom you have zero credibility? That’s a terrifying situation. Unfortunately, it’s also one where your gut instinct is likely to send you in exactly the wrong direction.
How to Be Taken Seriously at Work
If you have to influence when you have very little credibility, don’t trust your gut, because your gut will tell you to talk, to persuade, and to tell them this and that. You’re going to babble, so don’t follow your gut!
The other thing you will do is try to dig out and convince them why you’re credible. For example, “I have this certificate” and “I went to this university.” But digging yourself out usually digs you in further.
You’re also likely to be very defensive, wondering why they don’t think you have credibility. All of your gut instincts when you’re trying to influence someone you don’t have credibility with tend to point you in the wrong direction. You have to flip that.
1. Build Rapport and Engagement
The most important thing in understanding how to be taken seriously at work is to realize that, as humans, we like people who like us. Any way you can show someone that you like them will make them like you more. Make eye contact, show them you’re listening, and engage with them. Use body language cues like nodding, or verbal cues that can be as simple as “I’m listening to you.”
2. Ask Questions
Instead of presenting your own solutions upfront, approach the situation with insightful questions like “What challenges do you think we need to address?” Ask questions that will get them talking. This allows you to demonstrate that you’re interested in their perspective.
As you ask these questions, the idea is that you’re listening to what they’re trying to solve or what the problem is for them. Ask yourself, “What are some of their goals that I can latch onto and talk about in my logical argument about what we’re doing?” And, “What actions are important to them?”
3. Listen
Often, people that we have less credibility with are from different departments. They have different priorities, different goals, and different ways of thinking about the world. As they’re talking, listen for things like what’s their most important measure of success, and what are they tracking. Move your business case or your justification to their measures and their goals.
4. Create Emotional Connections
As you’re doing this, ask more great questions. For example, “I’m in charge of picking our new ERP system. What are your experiences with ERPs in the past?” Questions like this will get them telling stories, and when someone is telling stories, they’re creating their own emotional connection to the topic.
5. Learn
When you step back from the discussion, offer something like, “It sounds like one of the things you learned is…” or “We could frame it as…” or “I bet that means I have to watch out for this risk.” This shows that you’re appreciating and embracing the morals of their stories, or at least embracing their goals or their actions. That’s ingratiating and very helpful when you’re trying to influence someone.
Trust the Process, Not Your Gut
Listening, empathizing, learning, adapting, and iterating will help make it more likely that you’ll get the opportunity to make your case for the thing that you’re trying to promote. Another huge benefit is that the next time you have to influence that person, you already have more in the credibility bank account.
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If you find yourself in the unenviable position of having to influence someone with whom you don’t have a lot of credibility, don’t trust your gut. Your gut and your little animal brain will go into fight or flight mode, which isn’t helpful. Instead, ask great questions. Get them talking. Listen, iterate, and learn. Those are the things that will make a big difference.
Want to know how Credibility is Like Currency? That’s the title of my next post!
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