Has one of your team members let you down, blown it, screwed the pooch, dropped the ball? What’s the right thing to do? Is there a difference between assigning blame and fostering accountability? Yeah, there is. And one is likely to make things better next time and the other is likely to make things worse.
Blame is assigning responsibility for who’s at fault. The information in blame is pretty limited. It’s just “You.” (Who me?!?!)” Yeah, you! “You suck.” “You blew it.” “You messed up.” Blame is something you do to me. Accountability is the internal sense of responsibility to achieve an outcome. Accountability is something I have to feel. And I hate to tell you this, but if I don’t have it, you ain’t gonna force it.
And blaming me for messing up or failing to deliver won’t make me more accountable. It might make me more angry, more embarrassed, or more checked-out, but it’s not likely to make me say, “Hey, you’re right. It was my fault, and I need to do better next time.”
Blame feels personal, and it can create learned helplessness where I feel like I can’t do anything right, so why bother? If you’re trying to get me to feel accountable, avoid blame. Instead, try these four things:
1. Start With Curiosity
So I didn’t deliver, okay? Do you have any idea why not? You might be assuming it’s because I was lazy or incompetent, but maybe there was some other emergency, or I didn’t have the right resources, or someone in another department dropped the ball. Before you blame me, try saying, “I was expecting this to be done today. What happened?” You might learn that the situation was more complicated than you thought.
2. Provide Some Feedback
Let me know how my choices affected you and others. “You committed to having this to me today and I held time in my calendar based on that. Now I’m going to have to work on the weekend and that’s really disappointing.”
3. Let Consequences Happen
If I’m not feeling the accountability, make sure that my choices have consequences, preferably natural consequences, nothing punitive. “I’m going to have to work on the weekend now so you’ll have to log on Sunday night to make your edits so we stay on track for Monday.”
4. Get Me to Identify the Next Steps
Make sure that you pass the accountability baton back to me by asking how I’m going to behave differently next time. “Ok, so what are you going to do to make sure you get the work in by the due date next time? or “What can you do to provide a heads-up if something is off track?”
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When somebody lets you down and fails to deliver, it’s easy to be frustrated. But blaming them without understanding what’s going on isn’t going to make them more accountable next time. Try being curious, providing feedback, letting natural consequences happen, and asking them to specify their next steps. It’s much more likely they’ll feel accountable next time.