How to Ask For Feedback

Asking for feedback is always important. Feedback is a great source of new insight into how your behavior affects other people. It’s also a direct way to close the self-awareness gap. It ensures that our intentions are effectively communicated and that they’re effectively received. Feedback can be invaluable, and it’s always a good idea to ask for it.

Unfortunately, most people suck at giving good feedback. Fortunately, however, you have the power to help others give you useful and constructive feedback—feedback that’s easy for others to give and feels good to receive.

The Feedback Strike Zone

When you ask for feedback, there are a few different responses you’re likely to get. At one end, people may critique absolutely everything without much thought, which can feel like someone throwing a fastball at your head. At the opposite end, people may not give you enough useful feedback because they’re unsure what to say or afraid of hurting your feelings, which can feel like they’re rolling a lowball at your feet.

Neither approach feels good, nor does it help you improve. The alternative is to create what I call your feedback strike zone, a safe place where you’re both ready to receive feedback and ready to act on it.

Establishing Your Strike Zone

To establish your feedback strike zone, the first thing you need to do is know and understand the focus of what you’re working on. You may have different issues in different situations or with different people, but it’s important to be clear about what you’re trying to improve.

For example, if you want to improve your communication skills and make a stronger impact when you speak, your focus might be on being concise. More specifically, you may find that while you’re good at preparing what you’re going to say, you struggle with answering questions during meetings.

By identifying the skills you want to improve and your specific concerns, you’ve just created your feedback strike zone.

Benefits of the Feedback Strike Zone

Establishing your strike zone can help you clearly understand and articulate what feedback you need, but there are other valuable benefits as well:

It simplifies the feedback process by providing clear guidance on what you need feedback on, making it easier for others to provide input without guessing what you need.
It prepares you to receive insight from others with the mental tools to handle it constructively, enabling you to approach feedback with curiosity, anticipation, and a readiness to learn.
It increases the comfort level of others because they know exactly what aspects to focus on and what to pay attention to, which fosters a more productive exchange of feedback.
It empowers you with a sense of control over the process, helping you to navigate feedback with confidence, rather than feeling overwhelmed or unprepared, as if hit by an unexpected fastball.

Before you ask for feedback, establish your strike zone by clarifying what aspect or area you’re looking to improve. And if someone wants your feedback, ask them what they’re working on and what specific areas they’d like your input on. Establishing your strike zone and finding out the strike zone of people who want your feedback improves the process for both parties, making the process clearer and more effective.

Give it a try—or while you’re creating your feedback strike zone, get acquainted with some feedback fundamentals here.